I am writing this article during the lockdown, and my 4-year-old son’s kindergarten is closed. It’s winter, so our living space is limited, but we manage quite well. Juggling work time with parenting time. Although he is relatively satisfied between the soccer field and the stack of books that we always make sure are within reach, there is no doubt that his attraction to screens grows as time passes by.
Even though I usually write about adults and technology, I realized that I needed to cover this complex and demanding subject as well. I am writing this for myself as well as all the parents out there who find this topic relevant.
Let’s acknowledge reality for a second
Our children are born into a digital world. A world of touch screens, instant communication, endless information at the click of a button. Of downloads, videos, and online games. We can do our best to provide them with spaces where they can connect with nature and enjoy outdoor activities. However, it will probably be impossible to cut them off completely. In the end, most of us don’t live off-grid in a cabin in the woods.
In the last decade, the whole issue of children’s screen time has become much more dramatic. Before, we could cope when it was only television and computers, but now that screens are so accessible and culturally accepted there is no way to escape.
Many times, screens can be likened to junk food; we know that too much is not healthy, but we still consume a lot of them, often with guilt.
As I often write, we should all strive for digital wellness, and what could be more beautiful and complete than bringing this message into our daily family lives?
Why should we limit our children’s screen time?
As excessive screen usage is a relatively newly emerging phenomenon, studies exploring the relationship between health and screens are still in their infancy. However, we already know and see quite a few things that constitute negative aspects of children’s relationship with screens, including:
It’s addictive
The first thing you should know is that screens are addictive. More precisely, many of the digital interfaces we use are designed to keep us hooked and connected. There is a lot of money invested in technology that takes advantage of our cognitive and psychological weaknesses in order to make it challenging for us to leave our screens. Games, social media, streaming sites (primarily YouTube and Netflix).
It can weaken their social skills
This study shows that taking children away from screens improves their ability to recognize non-verbal emotional signals.
Our screens emit blue light, which inhibits the release of melatonin, a sleep-inducing hormone. This can interfere with the sleep cycle, causing difficulty falling asleep, poor sleep quality and as a result, difficulties regulating moods and concentration.
Gaming can cause a higher stimulation threshold
It is common for popular games among children to be very stimulating and exciting. They are designed to make children hooked and addicted (for financial reasons, not malicious intent). Besides the addiction itself, the intensity of the stimuli means the child needs “more” to achieve satisfaction and pleasure, making it harder to entertain and occupy himself outside the screen.
The amount of time spent on screens is at the expense of outside activities
The more the child is engaged in activities through a screen, the less time he spends outdoors. This means less physical activity and fewer social interactions. In addition, studies have shown that being outdoors improves concentration and reduces stress levels.
In numbers, how much screen time is okay for kids?
Who decides? Is it the World Health Organization or your parents’ intuition? One way or another, you can find a clue in these numbers. Since this issue is relatively new, it will take a while until we have studies that prove the health effects of prolonged screen time.
According to the World Health Organization:
Toddlers up to one year old – no screen time at all.
Children aged 1-2 – it is not recommended to expose them to screens.
Children aged 2-4 – no more than an hour a day.
The World Health Organization’s main concern is to ensure that young children are getting enough physical activity and sleep to benefit their development. Screen time should be lowered. While this is certainly true and relevant, it is only one aspect of the picture.
Children’s screen addiction warning signs
Many people think screen time is the main factor that predicts emotional or social problems in children who use screens. However, there are studies that show that how they use screens is more critical.
In other words, the duration of screen time is not unimportant. However, parents must be aware of signs that indicate that the screen is taking over the child’s free time.
The following are some signs (from a study by the University of Michigan):
Lack of control: children struggle to stop using screens
Loss of interest: A child loses interest in other things besides screens
Preoccupation: all the child thinks about is the screen
Psychosocial Consequences: Family and social activities are negatively affected by the habits of using screens
Substantial problems associated with use: screen time causes problems for the family
Withdrawal: When a child cannot use a screen, he becomes frustrated
Tolerance: Over time, the child’s request for screen time increases
Deception: A child uses a screen behind his back even when he is forbidden to do so
Mood Enhancement / Escapism: If a child has a bad day, screen time seems to be the only way to make him feel better.
Not all screen time is equal
While screen time is a significant figure, we shouldn’t look at things from a one-dimensional perspective. We have been more concerned with quantity than quality until now. Watching a national geographic documentary is not the same as playing an addictive game or watching a show with no educational value.
In order to maintain a child’s digital health, one must also pay attention to the content, rather than simply following screen time recommendations.
There is also a point of view that differentiates passive screen time from active screen time.
Screen time that is passive is time in which information is absorbed almost completely without the active participation of the child. Examples include watching videos, scrolling through pictures, and playing repetitive games.
During active screen time, a screen is used to film videos, engage in video calls, play educational games, or conduct a physical activity in front of an instructional video.
While passive screen time should be reduced, active screen time has an added benefit that can be treated differently, and in the right proportion can benefit both child and parent.
Here are some tips for keeping children’s screen time in balance:
Keep it educational
Instead of giving the children free rein to pick as they pleases (like letting him loose in a candy store), create with them a list of videos that meet your educational requirements. Let them participate actively in choosing the videos.
Embrace disconnection times
Try to spend as much of the day as possible without screens (this includes children and adults). Spend time hiking, making family dinners, reading books – anything that connects and creates meaningful time together.
Screens should not be used as pacifiers
As a parent, it is easy to stick the child to the screen in order to calm him down or deal with one tantrum or another. However, this is a really bad habit. With time, it becomes addictive, and it prevents us and our children from learning how to deal with uncomfortable feelings.
Keep screens away from bedtime
In many families, both adults and the little ones enjoy watching screens at the end of the day. A screen stimulates cognitive arousal, while its blue light inhibits melatonin production. These interfere with our natural sleeping processes. Choose a period of time before bed (at least half an hour) when no screens are allowed. In addition, the connection between sleeping habits and scrolling habits should be cut if possible (for example, using screens to fall asleep).
Stay involved
Take part in your children’s digital activities whenever possible. It gives you the opportunity to spend quality family time and learn about their digital world a bit better. At the very least, check in with them occasionally to see how they are.
Set a positive example
When it comes to our digital habits, we too can improve. We expect our children to follow the rules we set for them but not always follow them ourselves. At least in their presence we should strive to avoid using our phones in moments of frustration and boredom.
As a conclusion
In a world where screens are becoming an integral part of our lives, it is critical to help our children establish balanced digital habits. We are not exempt from facing the same challenges. We should acknowledge reality and understand where the world is headed. However, it is also wise not to remain complacent about the potential price resulting from excessive use.
Even in the midst of digital life’s intensity, it’s important to remember that everything ultimately comes down to healthy intuition. And above all, lots and lots of attention.
What works best for you in finding that right balance?
